Nothing retains the shape of what it was,
And Nature, always making old things new,
Proves nothing dies within the universe,
But takes another being in new forms.
What is called birth is change from what we were,
And death the shape of being left behind.
Though all things melt or grow from here to there,
Yet the same balance of the world remains.
--Ovid, “The Phoenix”
Chapter 1
Kasidy woke to a quiet cottage. She could hear the almost omnipresent wind whispering past her window as it scooted around the house and through the low shrubs that lined the corner and that side of the house; the slow murmur of the river wending by made a pleasant harmony, sharing its secrets with the wind.
Otherwise, silence.
She stayed in bed a few minutes, letting herself adjust to being awake; she seemed to need more sleep these days, yet it hadn’t been easy to fall asleep the night before.
The next thing that came to mind was breakfast. Then she remembered that Jake was gone with Dr. Bashir’s medical mission to Cardassia. There was only herself to think about cooking for.
With Jake gone the house seemed even quieter, and there seemed to be no real reason to leave her very comfortable little nest. Especially since, with her morning sickness, cooking was almost a waste of time. Even Bashir’s prescriptions only seemed to take the edge off the nausea.
She groaned. Pulling the blanket up to her neck, she curled around the spare pillow – the one Ben should’ve been sleeping on, she thought, feeling especially alone. It was her first morning without anyone else in the house.
He’d been in Kasidy’s dreams the night before. The day ahead might be lonely, but the night hadn’t been. She didn’t remember what the dreams were about, but they’d been comforting, she knew. There was a spot on her cheek where it almost seemed she could still feel a quick kiss, the kind he’d given her those mornings when he was called to Ops early, and didn’t really want to wake her.
Maybe Ben had spoken to Kasidy from wherever the Prophets had taken him. Maybe if she went back to sleep he would come again. She closed her eyes drowsily. She’d just take her morning nap a little early, no reason to rush the day...
Voices. Her lips curved in a warm smile. Was she asleep already? Were the Prophets speaking? Ben’s voice, which was Ben’s–?
“No, Ben, I don’t want to get up, I’ll just be sick...”
Are you feeling sick now?
“No...”
You’re past it. It’s time to get up. You have things to do today.*
Kasidy opened her eyes with a start. There was a shaft of sunshine through the window, the angle indicated the later time of day. She must have slept two hours more. And to her astonishment, she felt great. No nausea. In fact, she felt hungry.
She slid her legs out of bed and cautiously sat up, then stood. Still no uncontrollable urge to retch. Kasidy reached for her robe, which lay over the headboard, and pulled it on over her nightgown.
Bright sunlight streamed into the house as she made her way out of the bedroom into the wide living room. Pausing to look out the window, she could see it was a beautiful day, and couldn’t help the delighted laugh and smile. If only there were someone to share it with.
Her smile dimmed a little, but Kasidy felt too good, for the first time in too long, to dwell on the solitude. And she felt hungry. She turned toward the kitchen, which Jake had ensured was fully functional before he left. It was simple enough -- fortunately for her, for she was nowhere near the culinary expert Ben had been. Well, she’d just have to do the best she could. He might not be here to join her or cook for her, but he would know that she was enjoying what he had built.
By the time she’d eaten, showered, and dressed, Kasidy was feeling better than she had in three months, and more energetic. After the fifteen minutes that it took to make the bed and pick up the breakfast dishes, she decided to take a walk.
She wandered across the gently rolling hills, she could see and appreciate why Ben Sisko had chosen this particular spot to build his home. It was beautiful, peaceful. There were scattered trees from the post-fire cone burst. Many wild flowers were no longer in bloom, but there were still enough blooms, and shrubs. Low bushes and other spreading vegetation carried an assortment of fruits and nuts. The trees and bushes were young, obviously none of them over seven years old, most just entering the mature years when their harvests would be greatest. Small creatures rustled through the underbrush; animal calls and bird songs echoed back to her from all directions.
The late morning wind on Kasidy’s skin was cooling under the high sun, a caress of warmth and light. She felt the beginning of drops of sweat on her forehead. The brilliant blue skies, sprawling green meadows, and trees that whispered of both serenity and mystery were a delight, after the years she’d spent in various cramped, barren freighters, the ones she’d worked and the one she’d come to own. She knew Ben must have felt the same way, after years in space, to have chosen this spot.
She could also see how much work Jake had done in the past two months. For most of that time, she’d been unable to do much more than keep up the cottage and tend to the plantings right around the house. Jake was no farmer, but he’d followed through on some of his father’s plans for the land. She strolled through the ruins of the farmstead of the Bajoran who’d previously owned this land, and she could see some of his work. The grasses and young trees were taking over the burned-out remains of a small house and several round granaries, but a pair of evenly-spaced rows of queran trees had been planted between the farmstead and the Sisko cottage, concealing the forlorn site from easy view of their home. She explored it a few moments, hearing and seeing the almost constant stirring of disturbed birds and small animals that had taken up residence among the ruins.
There were still charred stumps standing around the buildings, all that was left of the family’s small grove of fruit trees. A rich scent led her to the scattering of golden tuberflower clusters in what would have been the front yard of the house, seven of them; remembering, Kasidy presumed there was one cluster for each of the family members and the two hired farm workers believed to have died here when the Cardassians set the district afire. It was a sad and solemn but beautiful little memorial, new growth in the midst of destruction. In the midst of death, there was still life, a rebirth for a land and people struck down by fire. She knew Ben would approve. Another row of trees stood along the eastern edge of the farmstead. She quickly glanced that way.
Oh, yes, the monastery. Ben had mentioned there was a monastery in the hills, before the ridge turned into a sudden cliff. It bordered on the Sisko property. She’d never been there, although she knew Jake had gone up to introduce their presence. The monks had been burned out by the Cardassians too, but had rebuilt after their departure. She remembered Ben telling her that the surviving monks had come through the valley after the fire, and had buried the bodies of every Bajoran they could find. Supposedly there were still people unaccounted for, after seven years. It was hard to consider, on this beautiful, peaceful day, how terrifying and painful those few days must have been.
“I should meet the neighbors,” she mused aloud, wondering how far the walk was. Maybe it was pushing it, after the relative inactivity of the past few months, but she felt so good this morning, she decided to go ahead.
****
Kasidy was starting to feel decidedly sweaty and out of breath as she reached the boundary between the Sisko land and the monastery property. The grassland and scattered trees were giving way to the beginnings of a true forest, and the terrain was more difficult to travel. The Yoljan had curved its way back in this direction, too, and she hoped she wouldn’t have to ford the river to reach the monastery – maybe there would be a bridge. Resting on a large rock for a few minutes, she heard voices somewhere among the trees.
“Hello?” she called.
For a second there was no change, then the voices fell silent.
As Kasidy stood up, a man appeared from behind a thick cluster of gleddennut bushes.
She stared at him. He was Bajoran, as dark skinned as she was, and dressed in brown-and-gold robes that proclaimed affiliation with a religious order, but he had no hood, coif, or head covering of any kind. His dark brown hair was short, only an inch or so long, windblown and unkempt-looking. Showing through the hair covering his right ear was a gold earring and cuff. For a second she wondered if she’d run into a monk – or a rebel outlaw who’d been hiding in the mountains disguised as one.
He stared back thoughtfully. Then his somber eyes softened, and he smiled. “The Emissary’s wife. Welcome.” He held out a hand. “We’ve been expecting you.”
“You have? Oh, Jake must have said something. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, it’s taken a lot time to settle in, and I’m afraid I haven’t been feeling all that well.” His welcome settled the momentary nervousness. She took his hand; the palm and fingers were rough, working hands. He didn’t seem as tall when she stood next to him, not much taller than she was, really.
The Bajoran nodded understandingly. “The child. Yes. But I knew you’d come as soon as she settled down.”
Kasidy blinked, taken aback. “She–? How did you–? I didn’t know myself until two days ago, how did you know it’s a girl?” She tilted her head, studying his face.
His eyes looked beyond her. “I saw her in an orb vision,” he said calmly. “If you are rested, come, I have something to show you.”
As he led her into the trees, it occurred to Kasidy that she should find out who the man was – she didn’t remember Jake or Ben ever mentioning the names of any of the monks up here. “You seem to know who I am, care to tell me who you are?” she finally asked.
He nodded, his expression still pleasant and welcoming but not especially excited or surprised. “Of course. I am Vedek Hatha. This is the Yoljan Monastery. Named for the river; our gifted lands straddle the Yoljan.”
“I see.”
They were suddenly out of the trees and at the edge of a clearing. A group of similarly-clad Bajorans were expanding the clearing, grubbing out stumps and clearing away brush. It was a mixture of male and female, and from what Kasidy could see, ranging in age from early teens to the very elderly. Two of the middle-aged adults, their overtunics cast aside, were turning the soil and working it smooth. Many of the others had also set aside their outer robes, and were working bare-armed, and in some cases, with their robes hitched up and bare-footed as well.
Hatha saw her stare. “You wonder about the young ones?”
“Isn’t this awfully hard work for such children?”
“Everyone here has volunteered for this, and has dedicated their work to the Prophets.”
“They seem...young to have committed to a religious life...”
“They haven’t committed to our order. When the Cardassians burned the valley, they left many orphans. We took them in. They are welcome to stay with us as long as they chose, and to leave when they wish.”
“Oh.” Kasidy was impressed, and felt her opinion of the man rising. It was no easy task to take in and raise shell-shocked children. She had seen how difficult it could be, during the time she aided the Maquis. She had seen children who’d been through fire and lost everything. She suddenly thought of her own little girl, imagining her facing such things, and a fierce rage rose up so fast and wild that she felt dizzy.
“So what are they doing?” she asked, deliberately changing the subject and trying to unclench her fists. “Clearing a new field to farm?”
He shook his head. “No, our fields are on the other side of the river, and up in the ridge terraces. This will be our baseball gem.”
“Baseball gem...diamond? You’re making a baseball diamond? Here?” she asked, delighted; she couldn’t help smiling incredulously.
“Diamond. Yes, that’s the word. We’re building a diamond.”
“Why?”
“We believe it is what we are meant to do,” he replied.
“Why is that?”
“I saw it in an orb vision.”
“You knew I was coming, that my baby is a girl, and that you’re supposed to build a baseball field, all because of an orb vision?” she repeated wonderingly, shaking her head.
“Yes,” he replied, matter-of-factly.
There was a lot about Bajoran mysticism and belief that Kasidy didn’t know, and a lot of what she did know, she didn’t really understand or find rational. Orb visions were among them, even though Benjamin, the Bajoran Emissary, had come to accept and believe in them. Not knowing what else to say or ask, or if she really wanted to know anything more, she watched the group work. A baseball field...
When Hatha spoke again, it was with a certain reverence. “The Emissary will play here, when he returns. This is where your daughter will learn the game.”
She caught her breath, and had to blink away a tear. No, she didn’t believe in this whole Prophet thing, not really – but if building a baseball diamond here in the middle of the forest would make Ben come back to teach the game to their daughter, she thought she might be willing to give it a try.
* * * *
Kasidy spent the day with Vedek Hatha and the monks of Yoljan. It was actually almost noon when she had reached them. Very shortly, others of the order brought lunch and additional water jugs to the workers, who ate quickly and then returned to their clearing and grubbing and digging and smoothing – apparently the baseball field was deemed of sufficient spiritual importance that none of them wanted to take any more time away from it than necessary. After eating with her, Hatha settled her on the low branch of a tree with one of the youngest girls, only ten years old, to bring her anything she needed. Then he excused himself from her side to join in the work; she could see how he had come to have callused hands – he wasn’t afraid of manual labor. Neither were any of the others.
The elder monks left around mid-afternoon; they had devotions, the child informed her. The monks were generally a cloistered order, with regular rituals and prayers. The children and the adults who remained, except Hatha, were on retreat or were among the orphans taken in by the monks.
The child’s name was Jernen Nerys – Kasidy told her about Kira; the girl had heard of her, and was delighted at having such a famous name. Young Nerys told her more about the Vedek, who, it appeared, tended to be quiet and thoughtful, always appearing to the young ones, at least, as a font of wisdom about the Prophets and everything else in life, who was never wrong about anything. The child obviously was awed by him.
Without needing much encouragement, she rattled on about how Hatha had once met the great Kai Opaka and come here to become a monk because of her, how he had become the vedek when the previous vedek was killed in the “great burning,” how he had rebuilt their monastery and taken in the valley’s many stray children to raise, how he seen an orb vision during the Dominion War, and how there were rumors that one of the brother Vedeks had put in his name to be the next Kai. She also told Kasidy that Hatha had begun to shave his head when the Emissary did, but that when the Emissary went to the Prophets, he had stopped, vowing never to cut his hair again until the Emissary returned.
Kasidy fervently hoped she would soon have a chance to see both bald heads.
She watched them all work for hours, talking to young Nerys and listening to the others as they worked. Seeing their simple labor, their slow progress over the warm afternoon, Kasidy began to feel a certain restlessness. She knew there were a lot of things she shouldn’t do while she was pregnant, and things she wouldn’t be able to do after the baby was born. But she couldn’t sit in the cottage and do nothing – feeling
well today, finally, told her that. She and Ben had already had the discussion about careers and relationships, and it was still true.
Looking at the young men, she wryly thought of Jake, feeling bound to her side for two months, almost afraid to leave their own land for fear his father would come back and find him gone. Jake had finally admitted he needed to get on with his life and find something he valued, to occupy his mind and body.
So, she realized, did she. The important part of settling down on Bajor with Ben was the “with Ben” part. Without Ben, it would be a place she loved and a place she came back to, but it wouldn’t be her whole life.
Only when the late afternoon sun sent shadows all the way across the field did Hatha clap his rough hands and send the tired monks back to the monastery.
“It will be dark soon,” he observed simply. “Do you need a guide home?”
Looking around, she had to nod. “Probably. Unless you have a flyer of some kind? Or a transporter in your monastery?”
He shook his head. “We have no transporters here. And we prefer to walk. It gives us solitude to commune with the Prophets, and lets us feel the bodies they gave us.”
“Well, this body is going to need a guide, then.” Reflexively, one hand touched her slightly thickened abdomen.
“We will always be at the disposal of the Emissary’s wife. Maln, bring a torch...” One of the younger people – Jake’s age, she estimated, and immediately felt warmly protective of him – nodded and jumped for one of the lanterns. “Maln knows the way. You will be going to the station tomorrow?”
Kasidy blinked. How had he known–? She wouldn’t even ask. “Yes,” she said slowly. “I was thinking, while I was watching you all, that there were some things I needed to do... I was going to go back and check on my ship...”
“When you return, then. You will always be welcome here, Kasidy Yates.” He nodded, smiling slightly, then turned away into the dusk and vanished through the trees.
****
Kasidy strolled through the Promenade at a pace that would have been aggravatingly slow to her, once upon a time. But between the slightly swollen ankles, a tendency to become easily out of breath, the fear that she might lose her ever-so-slightly-shifting balance if she moved too fast, and a desire to really see the station, it was fast enough. She didn’t really need to be in a hurry anyway; the Xosa wasn’t due for an hour or two from its latest run through the system. She could have waited for the freighter to return to Bajor, but coming here gave her a chance to talk to friends, too, and to find out if there had been any reports from the Nightingale mission.
The station felt different, she noted as she walked. Different people, different shops. True, there were always changes between her visits, but not so blatantly as now.
There were just as many sentients of other races as during the war, but they were no longer armed. They were no longer soldiers rushing grimly from post to post. They were more relaxed; she even heard jokes. And there were other people who looked...desperate, and sad, as though they’d seen too much and left too much behind. Her heart went out to them. She wondered if they were refugees, if their worlds were ashes behind them.
And another difference...Ben had been here, before. She discovered she half-expected to hear his voice booming overhead, or to see him appear in the crowd. It was different; he was not here.
As she walked, she noted the number of stares she attracted. Bajorans, mostly. “The Emissary’s wife,” she heard, several times, usually reverently, once in a tone she couldn’t quite identify. She resigned herself to getting a lot of those stares. As she passed the shrine, she received more than a stare. A number of monks were standing at the entrance; they all bowed respectfully as she passed, but made no move to intercept her. She gave them a polite smile and kept on moving.
“Kasidy!”
A familiar voice. Her face wreathed in a warm smile, she turned at Nog’s greeting. “Nog! It’s good to see you!”
“We weren’t expecting you,” the Ferengi chief of operations bared his pointed, mismatched teeth in a welcoming smile.
“Can’t I just come to see my friends?” she responded.
He laughed, a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound that way. But we’ve had a hectic day – we just found out Vedek Ungtae and Vedek Carn are both coming to the station in a few days, and getting everything shipshape and ready for their visits is going to keep us all pretty busy.”
“You’ll do fine. You know your way around the workings of this station better than anybody but O’Brien and your father,” she assured him.
“I hope so. I wish some other people felt that way. Well, I’ve got to go. A little problem in one of the pylons. Colonel Kira’s in Ops.”
“Thanks, Nog.” She watched him scurry away through the crowd. Kasidy was very fond of the young Ferengi officer. Nog had been Jake’s first and best friend on the station. From what Ben had told her, he’d been a near-criminal delinquent when Starfleet arrived. All she’d seen was the increasingly mature and responsible young man he’d become, and who she knew could be relied upon.
****
“Oh, Prophets, the logistics...” Colonel Kira stared at the pile of PADDs with increasing frustration. Starfleet paperwork. Reports. Updates. Inventories. Requests for specific information. She had planned to put a good part of this on Alden’s shoulders, but so far she had the more-than-sneaking suspicion he was deliberately finding ways to avoid it.
And on top of that, and of much more personal interest to her, there would be two very formal station visits in the next few days. Two more Bajoran Vedeks and their entourages were making pilgrimages to the Emissary’s domain. To walk the corridors he had walked. To observe the Celestial Temple, perhaps even to request a trip through it. To visit the station shrine where, as far as she knew, Sisko had never worshiped, although he had occasionally gone there for other purposes. And, of all things, to go to one of Quark’s holosuites to watch a baseball game.
She wasn’t surprised that Sisko had obtained additional baseball holoprograms when Quark asked for them. The captain had firmly believed the joys and life-lessons of the game belonged to anyone who cared to learn them. But the blasted Ferengi had set up the games almost as a shrine! For his own profit! One of the suites had been permanently reserved for Bajoran pilgrims to visit, for a “donation,” of course, part of which Quark made a point of mentioning was going to a good cause. There was a baseball game program running almost nonstop! And there was nothing she could do about it – she had checked.
She gave up and threw down the PADD she had been trying to read.
Vedek Ungtae and Vedek Carn weren’t just ordinary Bajorans making a formal pilgrimage to the station. They weren’t even just ordinary members of the Vedek Assembly. They were the two leading candidates for Kai, and Kira knew quite well that their mutual requests for visits at the same time weren’t coincidental.
Ungtae had been the leading contender after Winn’s disappearance and presumed death. He was a leading member of the Assembly, a well-respected speaker, and he was the head of a large and influential order of monks. He definitely had charisma, too, she admitted to herself. He had also agreed with most of Winn’s policies and presumably been a fairly close friend of hers – assuming the former Kai had real friends. It was reputed that, after Bareil’s death, he had become one of her advisors. He would probably continue most of her policies. He’d also already publicly stated that membership in the Federation was a question that would have to wait until the Emissary’s return, as Sisko’s last pronouncement on the matter had been his command to wait, at the beginning of the Dominion War. In that opinion, she heard Winn’s bitterness about the Emissary’s authority overshadowing her own as Kai.
Carn, on the other hand, had been a bitter enemy of Winn’s. In Kira’s mind, this was a plus. In Winn’s years as Kai, Carn had more-or-less retired from the Vedek Assembly and seldom been present at their meetings. He was equally as strong a speaker as Ungtae, when he chose to be; returning to the Assembly after Winn’s disappearance, he had quickly regained his old following. He spoke enthusiastically about the true coming of the Restoration – not Winn’s “corruption,” as he put it. She didn’t know Carn’s opinion about Federation membership, which had, after all, been primarily negotiated by Winn and Shakaar, just before the war, but there were a great many more Bajorans concerned about the Restoration than about membership in the Federation.
While there were other, lesser candidates, it was generally assumed that one of the two, Ungtae or Carn, would be the next Kai. Quark was reputedly running even odds on both of them, nothing proven or provable, of course.
Now both were coming to the station, at the same time, and with very little notice.
Her eyes strayed to the autographed ball that had been the Emissary’s prize possession. No doubt they wanted to watch a baseball game, too. And she would no doubt be expected to sit beside each and explain the minutiae of the rules and identify the various players and be asked to commit her public support. Political games. With everything else that was going on. And all this paperwork waiting for her.
She needed a break.
The door chimed.
“Come in!” Kira shouted more sharply than she’d expected.
Kasidy Yates stepped in. “Hello, Nerys. Did I come at a bad time?”
“Kasidy!” She tried to put aside the frustration. “What a surprise! You look...” She shook her head, smiling. “Wonderful.” She stood up and came around the desk.
“I look pregnant. And don’t try to say no, I’ve got a mirror.” She briefly ran her hands over the fabric covering her abdomen. Kira could see the slight bulge of the baby low on her body.
“No, I mean...you look wonderful. Healthy. The last time I saw you, you nearly threw up on me.”
Kasidy laughed at the memory. “I think I’m finally past the morning sickness – and not a day too soon. I’d forgotten how good eggs benedict can be!”
Kira had no idea what that was. “Are they good?” she asked doubtfully.
“Yes!” The other woman laughed again at her expression. “Although Julian would probably say otherwise and remind me to watch out for my cholesterol and half-a-dozen other health factors!”
That reminded her of another nagging worry – there’d been no word from the Nightingale since the ship’s departure from the station.
Kasidy saw that in her face too – she was far too perceptive, Kira thought, or she was losing her ability to conceal her feelings.
“Is something wrong?” She frowned.
“Oh, no, nothing...”
“Have you heard from them?” Kasidy’s eyes echoed concern.
“No,” Kira had to admit. “But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong.” She led Kas to the couch and gestured for her to sit down, then sat beside her. “Can I get you anything? No? Well, I wouldn’t worry about them. I’m sure they have a lot to do to prepare for...the situation there. Even Jake.”
“I suppose...”
“And they’ll call us as soon as they can, when there’s something to tell us. If there’s anything to tell us.”
Kasidy’s mouth twisted humorously. “You don’t need to humor me, Nerys. I know. It’s not reasonable to expect Jake to call me every day while he’s gone. He’s an adult; he has a life to lead. I need to keep that in mind. And I need to think about my own life, and my future, while I wait for Ben. I suppose that’s the real reason I’m here rather than calling you from the cottage myself.”
It was abundantly clear to Kira. “I wondered if you’d be lonely there with both of them gone,” she said sympathetically. “But your future–” She couldn’t help glancing at the small rounded bump of the baby. The Emissary’s child.
“Is still my future,” Kasidy reminded her. “It’s being a mother, yes, and being Ben’s wife, when he returns, but that’s not all it is.”
Kira understood that – but knowing that intellectually was different from feeling it, when the mother was also the wife of the Emissary and the child was a gift of the Prophets. She forced herself to remember that Kasidy Yates was also a friend, and that she had a career and a ship of her own, and still held a contract with the Bajoran government for certain transport concessions, though her executive officer was the one carrying it out, for now. “Yes. I’m sorry. I should remember that. So, what have you been doing?”
“Besides getting sick and having Julian stopping by every few weeks to see if I’m still getting sick? Not much. Until yesterday.”
“What happened yesterday?”
“I visited the Yoljan Monastery. Would you believe, they’re building a baseball field?”
“A baseball field.” The game again. “Will it keep them from coming to the station on pilgrimage?”
“What?” Kasidy looked puzzled.
“I’ve got two Vedeks coming in two days to watch baseball, among other things.”
“Ah, yes. Ungtae and Carn. Nog mentioned it. Well, in a few weeks, they’ll be able to come to Yoljan and play ball themselves.”
“If they thought it would get them votes in the election, I’m sure they would.”
“Oh, I’m sure Hatha’s order will vote for him, no matter what.”
Kira was taken aback. “Vedek Hatha’s been nominated for Kai?”
“That’s what I was told by a very young woman named Jernen Nerys.”
“Vedek Hatha... He’s practically unknown.”
“You know him?”
“Only because– Well, we won’t get into that.” She shook her head. “Vedek Hatha. He can’t win – he’s never been involved in religious politics the way the others have. He’s barely left the monastery in twenty years, from what I’ve heard. Of course, Opaka barely left her monastery, after she joined her order, even before she was chosen Kai...”
Kasidy tilted her head. “How would he have had an orb vision, if he’d never left the monastery?”
“He had an orb vision?”
“He claimed to – of the future.”
Her breath caught and her eyes widened. An orb vision! A vision of prophecy! They were rare. Precious beyond belief. A gift of the Prophets for reasons far beyond their own comprehension. She’d had one once. So had Bareil; he’d shared some of his visions with her, after they became lovers. Opaka had reputedly communed with the Prophets that way many times. Sisko had first encountered the Prophets that way. She knew Winn had been increasingly bitter that she had never been so gifted. Neither Carn nor Ungtae had ever claimed one.
If Hatha had been granted an orb vision...
“What was his vision about?” she asked, realizing her mouth had gone dry.
“He claimed to know my baby would be a girl. Which she is. And he claimed he was meant to build a baseball field, and that someday, Ben would play ball there, with our daughter. Beyond that, I don’t know.”
“Kasidy...” She didn’t know what to say. Every other thought had vanished.
“But anyway, I decided I needed to get back here, spend a little time with some friends, check on my ship, and who knows? Maybe something else will come to me.”
She went on. Kira barely heard her. How could Kasidy even think of such mundane things when a man who’d seen an orb vision had told her the future? Sisko would return...in time to be with his daughter. That meant in her lifetime. That meant soon, it had to. The Emissary would come back to them. She felt a rush of certainty. Of faith uplifted. The Restoration...the ancient prophecies had spoken of a restoration – what better symbol of fulfillment of that prophecy, than the restoration to Bajor of its Emissary? What greater proof of rebirth than the return of Benjamin Sisko–?
A rush of longing swept over her – did she miss him that much? Of course she did. The Emissary had been promised for millennia; he had left them far too soon, swept away to join the Prophets.
The promised Restoration, a renaissance for Bajor–
“Nerys?”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. What did you say?”
“I asked what you were doing?”
She glanced at her desk, at the pile of PADDs. “Besides Starfleet paperwork and Bajoran paperwork and trying to handle the new crew and all the political crises associated with the election for Kai? Who’s got time for anything else?” she managed to say.
The door chimed.
“Enter!” she replied automatically.
Ensign Kuhlman stepped in. “Colonel. The Xosa is docking.” He glanced at Kasidy. “I thought Captain Yates might want to know, sir.”
“Yes, thank you.”
The young officer nodded and stepped out as quickly and without ceremony as he’d entered.
“Well, maybe I’d better let you get back to it...” Kasidy said, sliding to the edge of the cushion to stand up.
“And you want to check on your ship, I know.” She sighed. “I wish I had time to offer you lunch, but I expect I’ll be working through it, again.”
“You have to eat sometime – or so Julian kept telling me when all I wanted to do was retch my guts out at his feet every time he mentioned food. Until yesterday.” Kasidy shook her head. “So, paperwork or no paperwork, I’m going to insist you join me for lunch.”
She gestured back toward her desk. “But–”
Kasidy caught her shoulder. “Are you going to make me pull rank as the Emissary’s wife? You know how I’d hate to have to do that! Now really, is anything going to disappear if you don’t look at it this second? And is it really going to matter if Starfleet gets a report on the shipment of blood wine a day late? Who’ll know? And who’ll care?” she finished more philosophically.
“All right, you win! You saw that Klingon freighter, didn’t you?” Kira gave in with a chuckle. “Fourteen hundred hours, at the replimat? It’s pretty quiet then, we can talk – and I’m afraid that’s the earliest I’ll be able to get there, if the rest of my morning goes the way I expect it to.”
“I’ll see you then.” Kasidy left with a smile.
Kira looked at her desk. It hadn’t changed during the few minutes she’d taken away from it.
“Raktajino,” she groaned. “I need a raktajino, or I won’t make it to lunch.”
The door chimed again.
“What?” she demanded.
Kuhlman stood in the doorway again, looking very apologetic. “Colonel?
There’s a problem with the Klingon freighter at Upper Pylon Two, it...sounds like you’ll have to handle it personally, the captain says he won’t talk to...underlings.”
That damned Klingon freighter... Kasidy should never have brought it up – it was a jinx to even mention the blasted Klingons! She felt a throb behind her eyes and ran a hand reflexively over her forehead. She couldn’t help glancing at the pile of PADDs on her desk.
No. She couldn’t just walk away from it all. A commander couldn’t do that.
But then, neither could an executive officer.
She now *had* an executive officer. And by the Prophets, she was going to use him as one, whether he liked it or not, she decided. She stacked a dozen of the first PADDS to come to hand – inventories, mostly, she noted.
Out in Ops, she scanned the chamber, and spotted Alden sitting at one of the stations.
“Commander Alden.” A glance at his screen showed he was doing nothing more significant than reviewing the Defiant’s old mission logs. One part of her mind noted critically that it should have been him, not Ensign Kuhlman, trying to deal with the Klingons a few minutes ago.
“Yes...Colonel?”
She heard the pause. Well, she’d deal with that later. Just now, she had a “situation” waiting for her. She set the stack in front of him on the console.
“I want you to review these, double check the inventories, see if there’s anything out of the ordinary or that we should be concerned about. I’ll be at Upper Pylon Two talking to the Klingons.”
He stared at the PADDs. “That’ll take hours!” he protested. “I’m due on break in twenty minutes!”
“Executive officers don’t always get breaks on the hour, Commander,” she replied impatiently. “One of those things about being in command – you’re always on call. And since I have to go deal with this situation, that’s going to mean you may just have to miss your break.” She headed for the lift, then paused. “Oh, and you might want to familiarize yourself with tactical controls, too, when you’ve finished confirming the inventories.” She gestured at his console. “I’m glad you’re taking time to familiarize yourself with the Defiant’s history, but it would be even more valuable for you to be able to handle the controls here, too.”
She turned away, leaving him gaping after her. If he was going to say something, tough. She didn’t have time to stand around waiting for him to express his displeasure with his assignment or throw another tantrum like he had in her office.
Oh, she was in a wonderful mood to deal with Klingons, she thought. She almost hoped the freighter captain would continue his arrogance. She really needed to bite somebody’s head off.
****
Endar wasn’t even trying to control his temper as he stared after Colonel Kira. He just couldn’t find the words to cut lose with – he was too angry.
Clerical duties! That’s what it was, clerical duties! Double-checking inventories. What the hell kind of duty crap was that? It was ensign’s work, not executive officer’s! She couldn’t have made her contempt for him any plainer, or her opinion of his abilities. Inventories...
He could barely breathe.
The stack of PADDS slid, falling off the console to the floor and scattering. Their clattering caught the attention of everyone who hadn’t already heard the colonel treat him like a clerk.
Anger mixed with humiliation in an ugly flush. Everyone was staring. Everyone had heard. Oh, god, for a terrorist attack this very second...
Woodenly, he slid out of his chair to pick up the PADDs. He would much rather have stomped them all to pieces, but some instinct for self-preservation warned him that the colonel would gladly use the excuse to throw him back into security’s tender care, then throw him away like a spent torpedo casing, in further degradation. He wasn’t going to give her the opportunity, not today...he was going to show her–
Another figure cast a shadow over him.
Lt. Kaoron handed him one of the PADDs that had skittered almost to his station. “I believe you will need this, Commander.”
Endar stared at the mixture of Vulcan and Romulan features. Glancing past the science officer, he saw Kuhlman and another officer with expectant, delighted grins on their faces.
Of course. They were all laughing. They enjoyed his humiliation. *So funny, ha-ha. Damn Vulcan, damn Romulan, damn whatever-he-is. Damn Kuhlman, damn Bilecki, damn junior officers, they could at least not laugh at me, how dare they–
“Supply,” he said thickly. “I’ll have to check supply...”
The PADDs in hand, he forced his feet to walk to the lift, and give the command for his destination.
As soon as he was below their sight, he threw the reports against the wall with a guttural roar, fighting for breath. His stomach was tied in so many knots he knew he’d throw up if he tried to eat anything.
Skip eating. He just needed to drink something.
* * * *
Back in Ops, Kaoron turned back to Kuhlman and Bilecki.
“So?” the young ensign prompted urgently, still grinning. “What did the parrot say then?”
The Vulcan/Romulan officer resumed his post. “He said, ‘If I may ask, sir, what did the chicken do?’ ”
The humans broke into laughter.
After a moment, Kuhlman asked, “Are you sure these are Earth jokes, Lieutenant?”
“It’s gotta be,” Lt. Bilecki said merrily, her eyes twinkling. “What other planet has parrots?”
“Of course it’s from Earth,” Kaoron responded tranquilly. “I categorize every joke I have collected over the years by its species of origin as well as how I came to learn it.”
“Tell us some more,” Kuhlman prompted, still grinning.
“If you wish.” He paused a second, mentally reviewing his extensive collection of humor. “There were two humans, named Abbott and Costello, and one day, one of them was explaining baseball to the other...”
Chapter 2